Boy do I have some words of advice for you. I have had a few girls write or talk to me about their husbands plans on joining the Navy. I am going to be straight with you right now...I wouldn't advocate any family going in. The military is GREAT for single guys and girls. The military has some GREAT benefits. The military is stable. The military is a pain in the you know what.
I met my now husband two weeks after he signed his contract to go into the Navy. I had no idea what I was getting into and to be honest, neither did he. I love my husband dearly and I would still marry him even now knowing how tough life in the military would be but if I could change the fact that he was going to join I would. I am going to try to be as unbiased as I can be, but here are some of my pros and cons to think about if you find yourself in this situation.
PROS
Your housing costs will be covered. This is awesome because whether you decide on military housing (another story all on its own) or to live off base, you will not have to pay for it. If you live out in town you will get money to cover your utilities up to a limit.
Your husband will receive the GI bill. Great for when you would like to buy a house or if he would like to go back to school.
Traveling is great and you might get to see some of the world with your husband. Even if you do not get stationed abroad you will have what they call "Space A(valiable) Flights" open to you. If your husband is on leave or gone for at least 90 days you can travel anywhere in the world that has a military flight open. The only catch is it is all stand by.
Stability is huge. Your family will receive a paycheck every two weeks and he will have a job as long as his contract is good for. Other than a few small instances, those two things are secure.
Medical benefits. This is what gets a lot of people. The military health care system is pretty awesome. For example, to have a baby you will only pay about $25.00 out of pocket. Nice compared to some people who have to pay around $10,000.
These are the major pros for me.
CONS
The military owns your husband. This was super tough for me to get used to. It really doesn't matter if something is going on that you might need your husband for i.e. funerals, advice, births, weddings, just to be around. If the military needs him, too bad so sad, cause guess who isn't going to make it. This can add major stress on a marriage if the spouse cannot handle it. You may come first in his heart but in a lot of ways he is obligated to put the military first.
You will not know what is going on a lot of the times. Depending on your husbands job and security clearance you may be left in the dark a lot. You may not know where he is in the entire world, what his assignment is or what he did on his last mission. You cannot need to know everything. He cannot tell you everything.
Where you live is not your choice. His recruiter may have told him that he will get a choice as to where you two end up...lies. Believe me, this isn't true. You may get lucky and end up in Hawaii or wherever it is you want to go. But for the most part it is luck.
His recruiter will lie to him. Everything that he says that is not written in his contract doesn't have any grounds in the future. For example, he was told he would receive his signing bonus after boot camp. We got it nearly three years later. Make sure it is all in the contract and that you see it with your own eyes.
Depending on his command, your husband can be gone for a year at a time. If he is sent to a war zone be prepared for a long separation. If he is on a carrier, nine months is a normal time to be sent to sea.
Long lengths of time away from family is unavoidable. Sure, your family is just a flight away, but believe me, with the money you get from the military, those flights will be few and far between.
Your paycheck does not go up if you have kids. Everyone is always surprised on this one. Nope, you get to make it work with the money you were already getting.
I really hope that these pros and cons help you and your family make the choice as to whether or not the military is right for you. These are just some of the main points but I have a ton of other things I can say on this topic. If you have any question or want to know more, my email is navywifeinjapan@gmail.com
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