What's it like to be a Navy Wife?

Being one of the newer members of the Navy wives club, I don't have all the experience that may others do, but I have picked up on a lot of things that are unique to this experience. So, if you have ever wondered what it's like (at least for me) or if you are soon to become a Navy wife this might give you a little insight.

When I first married my husband two years ago I had no idea what to expect. I wrote to him while he was in boot camp and we stayed in as much contact as possible before we were able to get married and live together. I really thought things would get so much easier once we were married. In some ways it did, but in a lot of ways it got harder.

I, and anyone else in the situation, will learn very quickly that you are no longer in complete control of your life. And no I do not mean that your husband is... the military now makes a lot of major decisions for you. Some will be great, others good and most suck. How long and where you live are predetermined for you by the powers that be. You can try and want and hope you will end up in, let's say, San Diego. You can put in your request, you can have a good reason, but if they do not need you there and they need someone in Norfolk, VA, guess where you are going. Another thing they control is your time together. Your spouses schedule is finite and he cannot take a sick day. If he is sick they will probably just give him easier work to do. The military doesn't care that its your anniversary or that you really just need some time together. When he/she signed that contract they promised to do as they were told. By marrying that person you are in a way part of that promise because you need to deal with the consequences of that. Being a good military spouse requires you to be or learn to be independent. He or she may not be home to help you take care of the bills or make last minute decisions about important things that come up. One thing to be careful of is not going too overboard with the independence. It is far too easy to get used to doing everything by yourself and leaving your spouse out when they are home. Its hard balance to strike, but an essential one.

Getting used to moving after being a girl that was in the same house with my family for over a decade was a tough one for me. We have had three major moves since getting married and each has gotten much tougher than the last. You need to be organized and know what questions to ask and how to get help you may need. You also need to be able to be comfortable loosing and gaining new friends in each place that you go. I have a hard time with this because I want to make and keep friends and I put effort into relationships so its hard to give them up every time. It's something I need to work on because without this, its hard to get the support you will need when your husband or wife is gone.

You will not have all the money in the world when your spouse is in the military, that's for sure. There are tons of befits that you get being apart of a military family. For example, you have great health care and your dental is partially paid for. You do not pay taxes for things you buy on base. You receive BAH (your housing allowance) if you are not staying in military housing. If you choose to, base housing is free but you forfeit your BAH. There are a bunch of different pay scales and things he or she will get paid more for doing. Just keep in mind that if you stay on a budget, you can totally make military pay work for your family.

Something that has increase a lot for me over the past two years, is how much patriotism I feel for my country. It's impossible not to when you see first hand how hard these men and woman work to serve and protect us all. I have never loved the US more than I currently do, and I am sure that will only grow more over time.

One of the biggest downsides of the lifestyle is finding ways to identify with people who are not in your situation. Most people don't and never will know what it is like to worry about where your husband is, if he is in mortal danger or to know when he is coming back and all the while having no form of communication with him. Its the worst part of this lifestyle for sure. The worrying tears you apart but after a while (and I am still not there) I have been told it gets better.

To end on a positive note, man do they look good in those uniforms! If you haven't see a guy in dress blues, you are missing out!

If you have any questions of comments, please email me at navywifeinjapan@gmail.com. Don't forget to follow the blog to keep up to date on new post.