Thursday, December 30, 2010

What's it like to be a Navy Wife?

Being one of the newer members of the Navy wives club, I don't have all the experience that may others do, but I have picked up on a lot of things that are unique to this experience. So, if you have ever wondered what it's like (at least for me) or if you are soon to become a Navy wife this might give you a little insight.

When I first married my husband two years ago I had no idea what to expect. I wrote to him while he was in boot camp and we stayed in as much contact as possible before we were able to get married and live together. I really thought things would get so much easier once we were married. In some ways it did, but in a lot of ways it got harder.

I, and anyone else in the situation, will learn very quickly that you are no longer in complete control of your life. And no I do not mean that your husband is... the military now makes a lot of major decisions for you. Some will be great, others good and most suck. How long and where you live are predetermined for you by the powers that be. You can try and want and hope you will end up in, let's say, San Diego. You can put in your request, you can have a good reason, but if they do not need you there and they need someone in Norfolk, VA, guess where you are going. Another thing they control is your time together. Your spouses schedule is finite and he cannot take a sick day. If he is sick they will probably just give him easier work to do. The military doesn't care that its your anniversary or that you really just need some time together. When he/she signed that contract they promised to do as they were told. By marrying that person you are in a way part of that promise because you need to deal with the consequences of that. Being a good military spouse requires you to be or learn to be independent. He or she may not be home to help you take care of the bills or make last minute decisions about important things that come up. One thing to be careful of is not going too overboard with the independence. It is far too easy to get used to doing everything by yourself and leaving your spouse out when they are home. Its hard balance to strike, but an essential one.

Getting used to moving after being a girl that was in the same house with my family for over a decade was a tough one for me. We have had three major moves since getting married and each has gotten much tougher than the last. You need to be organized and know what questions to ask and how to get help you may need. You also need to be able to be comfortable loosing and gaining new friends in each place that you go. I have a hard time with this because I want to make and keep friends and I put effort into relationships so its hard to give them up every time. It's something I need to work on because without this, its hard to get the support you will need when your husband or wife is gone.

You will not have all the money in the world when your spouse is in the military, that's for sure. There are tons of befits that you get being apart of a military family. For example, you have great health care and your dental is partially paid for. You do not pay taxes for things you buy on base. You receive BAH (your housing allowance) if you are not staying in military housing. If you choose to, base housing is free but you forfeit your BAH. There are a bunch of different pay scales and things he or she will get paid more for doing. Just keep in mind that if you stay on a budget, you can totally make military pay work for your family.

Something that has increase a lot for me over the past two years, is how much patriotism I feel for my country. It's impossible not to when you see first hand how hard these men and woman work to serve and protect us all. I have never loved the US more than I currently do, and I am sure that will only grow more over time.

One of the biggest downsides of the lifestyle is finding ways to identify with people who are not in your situation. Most people don't and never will know what it is like to worry about where your husband is, if he is in mortal danger or to know when he is coming back and all the while having no form of communication with him. Its the worst part of this lifestyle for sure. The worrying tears you apart but after a while (and I am still not there) I have been told it gets better.

To end on a positive note, man do they look good in those uniforms! If you haven't see a guy in dress blues, you are missing out!

If you have any questions of comments, please email me at navywifeinjapan@gmail.com. Don't forget to follow the blog to keep up to date on new post.

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Things I wish I knew before I came here

No matter how prepared you try to be, there are always somethings you wish you would have known before doing something new. Hopefully this will help you out.

The Shuttle from the Airport to the Base

The bus is located in terminal two I believe at Hanada airport if you are coming on a commercial plane. If you are flying on a military flight, just follow the crowd. You must make reservations for the bus prior to your flight in order to guarantee your seat. Otherwise, it is first come first serve. You need to have orders with you if you want to ride the bus for free and all in your group must be on those orders otherwise you will have to pay for that person. The ride is pretty long, about 2 1/2 hours and maybe 3 with traffic.

The Navy Lodge

When you first arrive at the base you will be taken to the PSD to check in (if you arrive early enough). They will then take you to the Navy Lodge. You MUST make reservations BEFORE you arrive. While we were staying there I actually saw a family being turned away because the Lodge was full. In order to make my reservation I emailed them and spoke with Nadiya. She was very helpful and was able to answer all my questions. The email is: nadiya.mcconnell@nexweb.org . Make reservations the sooner the better. Also, be prepared to pay for your stay. Yes, you will get your money back, but it can take a while so make sure to have the money on hand. The rate is $70.00/day and you must pay your bill every 10 days. It adds up really quick let me tell you. Plan on staying in the lodge for at the very least two weeks, more if you are coming during the peak of PCS season (summer). The rooms are nice enough and have little kitchenettes. The air conditioning is really pathetic so plan on asking to borrow and fan as soon as you can.

Housing

No matter if you are going to be staying on or off base, the sponsor must complete the housing brief. They go over all the things you need to know in order to be assigned a place. Once you decide what you want to do, their staff is very helpful and knowledgeable. Make sure to let them know what you are looking for. For example, if you want to live in an Ikego townhouse because you have kids, tell them that way you both don't waste time dealing with tower homes. (All housing is base on availability and qualifications). Start this process as soon as you can. Believe me, you want to get out of the lodge as quickly as possible.

Housing Goods Shipment

This is where we made our big mistake. We had never made this big of a move and didn't know what to do. We were told to wait until housing goods contacted us to talk to them about getting our shipment....So, so wrong. Go as soon as you can to have your shipment sent over. It will take up to 90 days to get here. Call the personal property office and ask if you goods can be shipped over immediately if you are moving here soon. With a little luck your stuff will get here just in time for you to move into your place.

Furniture and appliances

We had no idea what homes out here would be like. Would they fit? Would our toaster work? We were told that they wouldn't so we sold all of our furniture and anything with a cord. Turns out, in base housing all American furniture will fit and all of your electrical stuff will work. The electronics will function at a lower rate though, but they will work. You just might have to wait a little longer for that piece of toast to brown. So, in my humble opinion, if you are getting base housing, bring everything. The tower homes are huge, the town homes look pretty spacious. They only place you might need to worry about is Negeshi. Think 1950's home and plan around that.

Shopping

There are certain things that you cannot find here on base. You can always go looking out in town but that can be tough. The selection on base is small for almost everything so if you have something that you are planning on waiting to buy here, if you can, buy it now. You can buy things online, but one thing I recently found out is that electronics, no matter the size, cannot be shipped here through retailers. They have to be sent to someone back at home and sent through a friend of family member.

Communication

One pleasant surprise was how easy it was to talk to family and friends. They sell a military phone card here that gives you around 300 minutes of talk time to the states for $20.00. Its a great deal and the cheapest option. If you have a webcam there is always Skype. The postal service here is really good. You will have to apply for your postal box when you get here and there are locations at every base. The hours vary but are similar to hours in the US. It takes about 2 weeks to have something come from the states to here and about a week to go from here out.

Well I hope these little tid bits helped. If you have any other things you would like to know about, I would love to answer your questions. Either leave a comment or email me at navywifeinjapan@gmail.com.

Saturday, December 25, 2010

Holy Crap

One thing I really was scared of when I found out I was coming to Japan was the new toilet situation. Being an American through and through, I have never come across anything other than our standard porcelain thrown. Now I had to come to terms with something totally new that I really never, ever wanted to try out. 

As you can see the Japanese version of the water closet is quite different and to be honest I wasn't really sure how the heck I was supposed to use it. Do you sit? Do you balance? Which way do you face? 
  

As the questions puzzled my mind, I found a sign like this one that nicely explained the do's and don'ts. Awesome. That cleared a few things up.

The doors are different here too. Since you are basically booty bumping the floor, the doors go down all the way to the ground. No need to be concerned someone might see something. 
 
Later I found out that in most places where they think foreigners could be will have some more familiar looking toilets around. These tend to be a lot higher tech then you might be used to but you don't squat with these ones, so hey, I am sold. Just as a warning though, don't expect these western johns to be around cause more often than not they wont be.


You can take care of business in luxury in Japan. Why yes, that is a music note you see there. Don't want anyone to hear what you are doing, bam, press that button and you are totally undercover. Fancy a super clean hiney? Spray your booty and adjust the pressure to your liking. Some even have a temperature control for those with a discerning derriere.  
 

 I found this picture funny since it shows the other end of the spectrum. The bottom two pictures crack me up. Fishing??? Anything you can catch in there probably would taste like ... ya, that. The last picture...really? REALLY? Someone must have tried this in order to make it on this sign.
 One last thing to remember, if you ever go somewhere that is not a public restroom you must always use the bathroom slippers. Never, and I mean NEVER use house slippers in the bathroom and it would be even worse to bring the bathroom slippers out into the house.

Saturday, December 11, 2010

Military Housing

I remember when I found out we were being stationed at Yokosuka Naval Station in Japan, the first thing I wanted to know about was military housing. I knew that for me, I wouldn't be ready to go from living in America to living out in the city in a country that does not speak English. I may be a wimp for that but I knew the transition would be hard on me, especially with how much I knew my husband would be away. So, if you are like me and prefer some of the comforts of home, military base housing may be the right fit for you. I will do a post later on living outside the base after I interview some friends that have places in town.

There are many pros and cons to base housing here, just like with any other place. I should say that this is my first time in base housing so I don't have much to compare it to, but then again it leaves more of an unbiased opinion.
When we were finally reunited here (I had to wait 4 months before coming over and away from my hubby) we were sent to the Navy Lodge located at the far end of Yokosuka base. The housing office is conveniently located within the same structure of the hotel. In order to receive a housing assignment, the sponsor must complete the housing brief. They give the base housing brief in the mornings and the off base brief in the afternoons. They are easy to go to and if you just call them when you arrive you can set this up. I didn't have to go but I believe the brief runs for an hour or two. Once you have taken the class you can go on the housing tour. They will show you a place at Ikego and Negishi that is currently available to you. If you are interested in finding out which place you most likely qualify for, pending availability, click here.

Negishi Heights
There are many helpful videos online that can show you what you have to look forward to. This is part one of the video on Negishi.


When I toured Negishi I noticed a lot of pros and cons. These are completely my own opinion but here they are...on the pros side of things. This is the only place that that you will get both a front and backyard space and quite a bit of it too. This is the only place where you will have a chance of getting a single family house unless you are O7 and above. The community, just like the video says, is very small town America. The houses all look very cute and have trees and lawns and it looks like something straight out of middle America. Other pros about it are that it has a lot of community amenities such as a commissary, dental and a small medical center, a park close by, all hands club, and I am sure much more. This is also the place that you would have to stay if you are bringing a dog with you and have less than two (maybe 3) children. It is also a very quiet community if you don't count noise from kids. They have their own school too. Now onto the cons... this housing is pretty far away from base at about 45 minutes without traffic. You can take a toll road there which helps with any congestion problems and there is a home to work bus you can take. From the two houses that I saw while I went on the tour, the houses are very small. Think late 1940s, cause that's when they were built. The kitchens are super tiny and there is barely any storage. They do have traditional floor plans if that is what you are looking for and the ones I saw only had one bathroom.

Ikego Hills

This community is in between Negishi and Yokosuka bases (a 20 min bus ride to base). Here are the pros and cons. Pros: There is a train station gate connected to the base. This is extremely helpful if you do not have a car! The base is also quiet except for children's noises. Just like most base housing areas, it is very family friendly. There are not a bunch of young single sailors roaming around. There is an elementary school here. One perk that I really love about this base is that since we do not have a commissary or a lot of places to go on base, it forces you to get out into Japan and see the sights. For us it was the best of both worlds, getting the comfort of living in a pseudo America and also being able to get out into Japan and getting to know this amazing host country. We do have a mini mart here that has items that will help in a pinch. Toilet paper, soups, drinks, soap, cat food, cereal and the like are all available. They even have a limited selection of towels and sheets if you need. There is a movie rental section also. On to the cons: We do not have a commissary here so all your shopping does have to happen at Yokosuka or out in town. If you do not have a car you must either take your stuff on the train or work it out so that you can take the work to home bus back to Ikego. We also do not have a NEX so any of your real shopping will also have to be done at Yokosuka. If you have older children, they will have to go on the bus to school. There are no single family units here; you must either choose a tower home (which I have and love) or if you qualify, a town home.

Yokosuka Base Housing

Obviously more people want to be on base so the wait is longer to get a place but here are the pros and cons. Pros: close to everything on base. There is a bus that you can take that circles the base so it is easier not to have a car. If you have kids, your children will have their school close by and could possibly walk there depending on where you live. Your work commute time is super short since you are already there. Cons: The base is busy. People are always walking around and it does get more noisy than other base housing areas. There are single sailors everywhere and they do get loud sometimes. It is easy to get really comfortable on base and for a lot of people this means never leaving base. They tend to be the people who never see Japan and their only outings are at the commissary or NEX. If you are looking for the comforts of home and are not all that trilled about being in Japan, this is the base for you.

These are just quick overviews and everyone has their own opinion of each base but I hope this helps. If you have any questions, please let me know and I would love to help you out.

Friday, December 10, 2010

Manners Matter

Just like in every society around the world, Japan has formed a set of unique manners that determine proper etiquette. It is important to follow these sets of guidelines in order to respect the people of the country in which you are visiting.

The following videos are quick tips on some of the basics that you will encounter more often than not.

Bowing...you will do it ALL THE TIME. So practice, its not hard but if you do not bow you will look rude.


Just like with anything else, chopsticks take practice. But once you know how, you will never forget.


I decided to throw this one in just incase you are coming on business or just because you wanted to know.


Monday, December 6, 2010

Before Visiting a Military Host

There are some important things to touch on before visiting Japan, and especially if you are visiting/staying with a military family member or friend. You can reference my last post for things that you can expect to find during your stay but this is more on rules and things to do before you visit.

First and most important, you have to have a passport. I am pretty sure everyone knows this but this is essential to travel in and out of the country. No matter how long you are staying you must have this document. It is easy to get and you can apply at your local post office. To download the forms to make the process more easy click here. Depending on how fast you want your passport will determine the cost. Make sure to get the passport book though! The card I believe is only for travel to Mexico and Canada.

A visa to Japan is not needed according to http://japan.visahq.com/ for people coming for tourist purposes. But you may need a transit visa if you are connecting with other countries so please contact your airline. Look to the site for anymore info.

Medical Insurance is important to have no matter where you are, but if you are staying with a military host there are a few things to understand. If for some reason you are in need of medical attention while you are here and are a guest of the base and you cannot pay your hospital bill, if falls on the military member you are staying with to pay that bill. If you are not a military member or a dependant of one, you are not allowed to use the military medical facility and will be required to go to a Japanese hospital. Japan is not like America where you can leave and not pay because they have to treat you no matter what. If you do not pay, that hospital will no longer treat American military members for any reason, even though you yourself are not in the military. For this reason, it is a requirement to show proof of enough TRAVEL medical insurance coverage to me BEFORE you come to Japan. Sorry, but I am not willing to pay your medical bills.

When you stay with a military host on base or in housing that the military is helping to pay for, there are rules for guest who stay there. As it was told to me, people staying here as visitors cannot roam around the base on their own. So, that means if you want to go to the Navy Exchange, I will have to go with you. Even if you want to go to the Taco Bell across the way, I have to go with you. We are expected to shadow you while you are on base. Also, on base you cant buy things because you do not have a military ID. If  you would like to buy something, you would have to give me cash and I could pay for it then. You are not allowed in the commissary even to just walk with me. When you are out in town and visiting all the amazing places Japan has to offer, it must stay in your mind that your actions reflect directly on the military member you are staying with. If you get put in jail for some reason, you better believe that that military member will be in major trouble even if he wasn't with you. As they always tell us here, what we do reflects on this base which directly reflects on their view of America. If you are visiting, you are part of that, so please be respectful of the laws and know how your actions will absolutely effect others.

You may have heard about SOFA agreements. These are protections that are given to military personnel that are stationed in foreign countries. As far as I know, these will not protect anyone not involved in the military. You will be held responsible for your actions.

Beside these facts, things you must know are:

1. How to get in touch with the American Embassy...you can even let the Embassy know you are in the country.
2. Have a backup plan, this includes making copies of important documents and giving them to someone you can trust and that will be available to send them to you if needed.
3. Make sure to have more money with you that you plan on spending.
4. Understand that you are guest in the country and if staying with a military member, a guest of the military.
5. Be respectful.

These are not some fun things to go over but they are necessary to ensure that everyone involved in your travel is well looked after. If you do all these things before your trip to Japan, or any other country for that matter, will be something you can remember for a lifetime. If you are planning on visiting, do these things and let me know! I look forward to it.